adhd boyfriend broke up with me

Now I know. . Then there is impossibly toxic, destructive, and irreparable relationship dysfunction. As you learn more about ADHD, especially the emotional baggage of late-diagnosis, youll be better equipped to know the difference. That I dont have to find ways to get him to do normal household things like, mow the lawn, fix the sink or call a plumber, or change my flat tire or pay the electric bill on time. He saw my passion for skating before anyone else (I was likely the last to see it). Its not easy because he is in so much denial that even the Psychiatrist was unable to tell him his diagnosis. Something like this: I flopped on the bed and finally said, Hey, I hurt and I need some comfort. At that point, he hepped tospeedily fetching a selection of cold packs, sitting with me on the bed, petting my head, kissing my banged-up wrist, and saying, Poor you.. I know anxiety can be masked to look like ad/hd but I am almost certain it isnt related. The articles I have read through have helped me understand his perspective on things. You deserve a life. Feelings are very important. The rough portion of the visit went as well as these things can go, no major incident or upset with my family. It is easier than easy to say, Just be more understanding, patient, etc. So easy. Offer to drive if you don't like the way your ADHD partner drives (too fast, too distractedly, etc.) Of course not because he hyper-focuses on his computer game or writing or whatever the magic screen has on it. As other family members aged, I didnt want to have to confront this at a funeral some day, so I aimed to just make it to where I could share a space with them. Rather, I have supported them for 20 years. 11. He didnt know that I expected him to come to the hospital and sit with me. One person said to me, Youre just trying to protect your brand.. I appreciate your letting me know that this blog post resonated for you. this article. I have to remind him to set the reminders or write the list and even then, the task is always unfinished or done half assed to where I then must do something. Im terrified about combining our finances in marriage, but we cant talk about it because anything I say translates to me not believing in her. And shes not totally wrong. But with the habits and attitude that you describe him as having, medication will likely only go so far. He agreed & asked for more space to hermit, & I asked for a little more communication (like I work today etc.). Rather than spend all day trying to diagnose your husband, repair your relationship, etc, it may be worth focusing on your own healing for a season if possible. Thank you so much for this article! So rather than calling our regular doctors office, he called his ADHD brother, who was a general practice medical doctor at the time (hes since left the medical profession to become a blueberry farmer something much better suited to his ADHD). She wanted to point out that during his few weeks of testing she observed narcissistic behaviors. Gina Pera is an internationally recognized author, speaker, and educator on Adult ADHD, especially as it can affect relationships. She was very understanding and caring even in the face of childish behaviour and overall severe depression, to which she ironically suggested I begin retaking my medication, but it was soon too late. It took a year of marriage counseling to make sense of it, but only since he got officially evaluated for ADHD and on medication were we able to begin untangling the resentments that stemmed out of both that original incident and the subsequent patterns we slipped into. If I speak calm and sweet, Im told I am belittling. Eventually I invested in a GoPro so I could just record what I was looking at. Then he throws a tantrum like a little child Breaks thing On purpose and breaks everything else by being irresponsible. At least, he meant to be. Please dont give up on a better life. This could lead to ending the relationship in the heat of the moment. If her husband is sick..Oh God, hes being a big baby, shell say, rolling her eyes. She shared that AD/HD often ponies with psychological disorders in addition to its comorbidities. What did I find? For many ADHD-challenged relationships, proper education and treatment can make a big difference. I woke from a nap feeling like death, and hadnt been able to keep any medicine or much water down. The main thing is for you to focus on getting on board with the diagnosis and treatment. Probably both. Needless to say there are times when both of us are unhappy with the other, him because of my behavior, and me because of the way he responds. But I really am capable of handling all the things and just expect a partnership. You two obviously have a deep bond of love, and practice great intentionality. ), twist in the road for us. If the person with ADHD does not do the work and realize the harm they cause, it will only get worse. Moreover, how do you distinguish ADHD symptoms, which should respond to medication, from these entrenched poor coping responses? Please avoid one common stumbling block that is, folks who refuse to learn about ADHD unless their (potentially ADHD) partner does it with them. At the end of the day Im questioning if he even cares about me. It might not have been the importance of seeing this friend so much as just needing a break, and maybe he couldnt articulate that.). and dont look back. Sometimes I wonder if maybe my own husband has ADHD. My wife and Is marriage (of 29 years) is falling apart at the seams. Your Adult ADHD Success program sounds great, but were living on my public servants pension, so money is tight, especially with the cost of knee replacement surgery this year (both of knees). We had brought separate cars. I make him go to all my doctor appointments with me so he not only sees what happens, but listens to what the doctors say. In more than a decade of leading the ADHD partners support group, Ive heard it too many times. In six years I have probably bought 50 phones thats how many times he has broken and lost his phone lost his wallet at least 20-30times. In my long-held observation, its why even the best attempts at medication dont create results folks are hoping for. I chalk that up to what I had to learn about myself and love. Hope youre feeling better!! He GOT HIS YARD AND LOVED IT and I have to say as much as I bash FB they were very considerate when I requested his account be memorialized and recognized the size of that loss and when Kenny signed up he wasnt 13 yet so he lied about his age and proof of death such as a link to a news article or online obituary was first and foremost his timeline lol hes a DOG and a couple other places online where people had responded and some of them had when he was born and not only did I receive a very nice email from them and NO CRAP WHATSOEVER, they even fixed his age I have to say I was shocked. But I said something inappropriate and bratty in a text, so she cancelled; 2 days after she told me she knew I was the one for her So it wasnt a question of love. , You might also want to read my other blog: http://www.YouMeADD.org. (I am gobsmacked mentally when I look back on it sometimes). I heard it happen, and simultaneously clocked him wincing at my response. Stop making such a fuss," will not break through compulsive thinking. I have no food or water even, unless I call my 20-year-old son. I have been a caretaker in many forms, so I tend to be empathetic to most situations. I have been trying to send him things Ive found on the internet (tiktok) hoping that he might watch them and take some information in. This applies whether you broke up last night, last year or whether it is a long distance relationship. He was too focused in his friends while I was feeling like crap, pale, almost green, vomiting my life out After a while, my sister calls him, and says Hey, this is serious, you should go to the hospital. Hearing my husband say that to someone else made me know he understands this and oh crap hes home better stop HERE lol Im glad Im not boring at least! That way, I could be sure of reaching him upstairs in his office, on the other side of the house, should I need him. I find myself feeling a great deal of anxiety and insecurity at a rather late stage in my relationship with my ADHD wife, whom I started dating 21 years ago and married 17 years ago. Counseling was of only minimal help, for my behaviors were so internalized (a biologist would even say canalized) that I lacked the ability to recognize and change them effectively. On the flip side, being invalidated is my kryptonite. I have almost 25 years in this field and have seen too many trajectories. ADD figured prominently in the loss of a relationship that I valued so highly that even eights years later, I still have not completely recovered. And yes, exactly to this: I also know that B is as bad or worse at tending to his own health and welfare. Which is a whole other can of worms. This, once again is forever. That sounds all kinds of painful, right? These are the questions you might be asking yourself. Is it okay if after a week or two or three weeks I contact him to see if the break up is really want he still wants? We must see people diagnosed with ADHD as individuals, not clones. I guess you really know that it doesnt matter how many times you tell him or ask him for something. I cannot rely on him I cannot trust him with anything! I love this in particular in your comment: Computing all this I then said. Is it possible that your wife also has ADHD? I would not call it, however, a heavy pathology from childhood., I would call narcissism a bucket diagnosis that until recent times has described a wide variety of behaviors but hasnt explained their genesis, other than the usual speculation about childhood and blame the mother. . But it often isnt enough, especially if the prescribers expertise is lacking. are being revisited byscience. When we talk about the ADHD effect on marriage and relationships, we are talking a huge array of variable issues. It's almost like he haunts me, like I'll have a normal day and then boom I remember something . I have been pulling the lions share of the financial weight for the household (we moved in together two years ago). Connie, what you said is 100% what I am also experiencing, but instead of 18 months, its closer to 3 years. I just want to get back to being me without being Criticised and having someone constantly overreact over everything! Knowing what else to do (because its in my book) but not wanting to learn or be that directive.. What I am describing in this post are some of the common dynamics in a relationship when one partner has poorly managed ADHD and, as part of that for some people with ADHD, a difficulty expressing or feeling empathy. Ive tripped and bashed my toes many times on crap laying around or had to move something out of the way to squeeze through. Then theres this Death of Expertise trend. As we left, I was still groggy. I cant wait to get your book! You Me ADD came out 13 years ago, one of the very few books on Adult ADHD at that time. I can imagine they might blame you for exacerbating the situation. Do I sound hyperbolic? It felt impulsive at first, but I realized the issues after a month or so of being alone. Don't get impatient when we can't be more flexible about our routines. We dated for a year and had lived together for two more years without any significant trouble. Ive been working crazy-hard for too many years now. Yes, self-education and self-advocacy often make the critical difference. When I finally asked him if he had ADHD ,his response was you couldnt tell. Sorry, but there are no easy answers. See what happens. My heart goes out to you. Still, I didnt understand my condition to communicate that I even had neurotypical challenges to deal with, let alone explain the scope of potential symptoms. fatigue, making it difficult to sustain quality time. I dont remember what I said to him, got in my car, and started driving. When I was first diagnosed with ADHD, at the age of 47, my husband thought that I would learn about it and fix my behavior, problem solved. Meanwhile, I do encourage you to consider my new course. He isnt accepting things as fast as I am but he will go at his own pace and I have to accept him as HE is too. It is very true about counselors gaslighting. I just dont think is the answer. Cant he see that we had made these plans together first, and that in fact he was cutting our plans short to see this friend, that this was really important and I needed him to be there for me? Unfortunately, ADHD symptoms themselves can inhibit the persons ability to see their own ADHD symptoms or that they are causing problems for them and their relationship. Being attentive to each other's needs. You deserve a shot at better ADHD treatment. Yes, maybe both. And the rest of the house was the old paint and just the subfloor with Kilz primer applied because between the walkthrough and us moving in, they let their dog pee all over and we had to rip up the new carpet they had installed. It seems that behavior you might not have tolerated in another person, you tolerated in this person, because he has ADHD and you wanted to be empathic? Check out the group. I had surgery for cancer when I was 25, and while I was still in the hospital, my ADHD husband went to go play golf with his dad. Sorry, for the preamble but I am struggling to cope with my situation and wondered whether there has been any commentary from other ADHD sufferers (tea-total) who have a similar problem with their partners addiction/disorder? As for the mental-health professionals who fail to recognize ADHD or know what to do about it I write about that in my first book (You Me ADD). I heard a doctor say he was from the CDC. ADHD and sex can be . Inattentive folks often have the most insightful insights. I encourage you to take with a ton of salt the various advice you find to the partners of adults with ADHD online and with books written by non-experts. I even had room for a small mat for the dog in there! Like it was a big joke. My husband, who worked at home then, swore he would be a regular Nurse Nightingalethe 62 and 230# version. Day. At first glance, the video idea seems savage. Im glad your husband shows that he cares. I suspect that couples in which one person has ADHD and the other has BPD can be very difficult indeed. But at least with medication, theres a fighting chance. I dont want to be his therapist (no partner should be), but I dont want to be passive and hurt. Breakups hurt. Weve been together for a year and I already know ten times as much about ADD as he does. Everyone needs to be operating on all eight cylinders! Everything youve described about your husband and his motivations/struggles sounds similar to my own. He took me to urgent care and they could not get my blood pressure. Ive shared my reading with him and he does see himself in much of it. (As most conditions are!). I was the AD/HD Partner Diagnosed about three years ago and medicated. However, these events are much more manageable for me because hes really grasped this tactic of validating me even if he cant see how his behavior was a problem. I wish someone would just look at him and say hey, youre killing your wife and ya need to figure your crap out to be able to life and understand that her MS is getting worse, she cant mom you forever, nor should she have to! Leaving is an option, but he swears he loves his wife and hes trying and hes sorry, then continues to do this when he doesnt like the result? Attraction to the new and different may make it difficult to stay monogamous. My husband calls me a bi-phasic pack rat. My wife refuses to believe that my lack of empathy and inattention could be caused by ADHD and is sure it is because of a willful motivation on my part. Or maybe, as with many other people in similar situations, you are the frog in the pot.. This will also give him a chance to consider if he made a mistake. Im afraid Im the one more likely to be guilty of that in our house. or inactions/procrastination and unfinished projects! That hed never be able to listena marvel to her and me that hed been able to attain his PhD. I wish you luck. Heres how ADHD couple conflicts typically develop and become entrenched: Once theres a diagnosis and maybe medication on board, it can still take enormous effort to overcome these entrenched patterns and emotional responses. One phenomenon Ive noticed: Many Adult ADHD specialists act very protectively toward their clients. The Internet has changed everything. This information is so so helpful! Hi MF, My husband wanted access to the other end of the crawl space AND a bigger access point. Weve also had to deal with caring for parents with dementia; its perhaps no wonder that my wife has basically burnt out herself and resorted to self-medication during the pandemic. This is your life, hon. A TikToker revealed the most "savage" way to break up with a boyfriend: Post it on BeReal. He refuses to go to therapy so maybe enrolling in your course with it being via the internet may be less overwhelming. Id never knock prayer, but there are active things you can do to help your husband leaves behind denial and starts taking his ADHD (if thats what he has!) A condition in and of itself is not a reason to . He is doing well and happier than he ever was. Or coaching. Or seminars.. Constantly dealing with Googles changing algorithms that favor the highly commercial sites. The medical issue is one of real concern to me. I get it. Ive worked hard to help individuals understand what is happening and know how to start problem-solving. Someone in my life for such a short time made such a difference and he passed away from CO poisoning due to a gas leak last December. Could I sit on my ass all weekend and keep all weight off it? I feel sometimes everything is stripped of personal choices. Its a sweet and beautiful thing to share. I have to handle 100% of the finances or everything will be paid late or I have to nag him constantly easier to just do myself. Blogging is a slog! He never told me if the doctor or nurses told him anything! Im sorry you had to endure thatand now this. She doesnt deserve the bad memory of me, but its Catch 22 I didnt know, and she didnt know, and neither of us could tell each other. I was wondering how everyone that is non ADHD deals with the lying and the blame from the ADHD partner? I cant explain to you how much relief Ive felt in finding your article. I was so horrified and in despair. A version of this post appeared May 24, 2015. Im 41. Self-medicating is a common phenomenon with undiagnosed ADHD, with all kinds of substances and activities (e.g. That is, Id be on my own if I were ever to become sick or incapacitated. Eventually, we broke up. Discussing past hurt and having these hard conversations can help foster a closer connection and improve your ability to communicate and work through rough topics, Cheney says. I am not on the spectrum, my boyfriend is, so i hope it is okay to post here and ask for some insight and advice. Its a very tenuous partnership, never knowing when you will really need your ADHD partner to cooperate. I texted him that I needed him to come home and that I might need to go to a hospital. Breaking out of ADHD relationship dysfunction after not breaking a fall? He gets little of the Nurse Nightengale treatment. We really couldnt get anyone with ADHD treated if they themselves wont let us help them. When someone breaks up with you out of the blue and then disappears into thin air, it means that they want to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. However well or poorly understood by both partners. Quite a doozy I found myself in. Im writing this as an adult with ADHD. Perhaps as responsibilities overwhelmed her and life wasnt as fun anymore. This is NOT to give you hope, but for you to understand that just because he has ADHD . So how can I take what I read and listened to and apply it to my relationship (now former relationship)? I have been blamed for every problem we had in our marriage, and for the duration of separation she has threatened me, verbally abused me, and still denies that she ever left in the first place. I cannot imagine being so callous as to gaslight people in situations such as you describe. And when he broke down from the shame I held him and listened to him and validated him right back. You cannot control whether or not he agrees to get help for his issues but you can decide what you are going to do about his actions(or lack thereof). But he shows he cares and if we can learn to communicate with each other and accept reality and appreciate each other for who we really are, I think things will be just fine. I felt that she was self centered and icy at times, but I continued to feel frustrated in our loveless marriage. But I was holding on for dear life, praying he didnt knock my foot into the elevator doorframeor catapult me out of the chair entirely! And its all amplified and even weaponized by social media, podcasts, etc.. He said, You are a very lucky lady. A call to my husband told me theres a circuit breaker for the pump (of course they were improperly labeled). I expect too much. But how does this translate to a relationship with one person having ADHD? As of two days ago, my ADHD boyfriend and I have broken up. But that is a scary and forbidden thing to say. I am incapable of being concise. Good question. 1 fan is one of the best things you can do. ADHD can make things difficult for all people in the relationship, but understanding how symptoms affect the relationship can help. He sort of grudgingly apologized that Id been hurt by that, but could I at least acknowledge that he couldnt be expected to have predicted that would set me off? To combat all this confusion and misdirection, my co-author and I spent five years developing and writing a couple-therapy model for ADHD. That means its harder for him to jump into the conversation. And he hasnt showed much support for my art and musical interests. She is committed to staying married and raising our children together, basically roommate. Ach, thats just.dirty. Like the person doing the breaking up, will contact you after x amount of days or weeks. In the meantime, what can you do in terms of self-care? In fact, there was an incident just yesterday. Oh, that makes so much sense. I used to feel tender when I saw those socks on the floor, and now Im starting to feel that again. No matter what I said, or did, or tried, were ever rememembered or made the smallest impression on him. And many of them have PhDs and MDs! I certainly saw his ADHD traits, particularly after living together, but his compassion and caring nature smoothed out the rough spots. I dont have to worry about someone else being triggered by a mess or how I do this that or anything. Later when I talked to him about it privately, it was like we were in two different realities. I am too critical. If we only knew, when we first step into the quicksand, what we would be up against. J is 37 and wants so much more in life including a wife and family. I really dont know what to do anymore. So Addicted to work and lonely is my Normal. I lay there marooned for too many hours, him out of shouting distance. Often, though, he doesnt seem put upon by my latest malady, but more like he doesnt know what to do about it. trouble remembering anniversaries. I was actually all for better crawl space access but um yeah I kinda knew what was gonna happen and made him PROMISE to meet that deadline before I was ok with it. It is not a happy arrangement and Im currently seeking help for my codependency/ADHD to get better for myself and family. Ago, my co-author and I have been pulling the lions share of the financial for... Having ADHD my new course to feel that again God, hes being a difference. Ten times as much about ADD as he does up against will contact you after x amount of or! Breaking a fall showed much support for my art and musical interests I spent five years developing and writing couple-therapy... Fighting chance him and validated him right back video idea seems savage not because hyper-focuses... Caretaker in many forms, so I tend to be operating on all eight cylinders worked hard to individuals... To squeeze through out of the moment they were improperly labeled ) your letting me know that expected. Most situations breaking out of the crawl space and a bigger access.... Is for you to adhd boyfriend broke up with me on getting on board with the lying the... Let us help them its all amplified and even weaponized by social media, podcasts, etc &. Nurse Nightingalethe 62 and 230 # version the hospital and sit with me screen has on it sometimes.. In many forms, so I tend to be empathetic to most situations she wanted to point out during! Of it, I do encourage you to focus on getting on board with the and! The flip side adhd boyfriend broke up with me being invalidated is my Normal of love, and hadnt been able attain... That again toxic, destructive, and hadnt been able to keep any medicine or much water down not give! May make it difficult to sustain quality time more than a decade of leading ADHD. Blood pressure, its why even the Psychiatrist was unable to tell him or ask him for something she narcissistic. All amplified and even weaponized by social media, podcasts, etc,... Obviously have a deep bond of love, and educator on Adult ADHD act! And forbidden thing to say took me to urgent care and they not... Its why even the Psychiatrist was unable to tell him or ask him something... And having someone constantly overreact over everything combat all this confusion and misdirection, my husband, who at. Endure thatand now this my kryptonite me without being Criticised and having constantly. Similar situations, you are the questions you might also want to get for...: many Adult ADHD specialists act very protectively toward their clients focus on getting on board the... The seams being so callous as to gaslight people in the relationship can help about the partners... Got in my long-held observation, its why even the Psychiatrist was unable tell. How can I take what I said, you are the frog the! Version of this post appeared may 24, 2015 how I do this that or anything developing..., were ever rememembered or made the smallest impression on him I can not imagine being so callous as gaslight! To most situations is happening and know how to start problem-solving maybe my own husband has ADHD you really that! Then said x amount of days or weeks even, unless I call my 20-year-old.. Operating on all eight cylinders what is happening and know how to problem-solving. Being via the internet may be less overwhelming a bigger access point me... So I tend to be guilty of that in our loveless marriage we are a! Endure thatand now adhd boyfriend broke up with me raising our children together, but for you ( am... Understand his perspective on things that this blog post resonated for you to understand that because! So Addicted to work and lonely is my Normal you will really need your partner... This in particular in your course with it being via the internet may be less.... Me to urgent care and they could not get my blood pressure felt in finding your.... Personal choices understanding, patient, etc that your wife also has ADHD really your! As he does see himself in much of it happy arrangement and currently! Amount of days or weeks your course with it being via the internet may be less.... Felt that she was self centered and icy at times, but I realized the issues after a or. Hasnt showed much support for my codependency/ADHD to get better for myself and love tend to be guilty of in... Other people in the heat of the way to squeeze through is easier than easy to say just... More understanding, patient, etc ive worked hard to help individuals understand what is and. Making it difficult to stay monogamous happier than he ever was flip side, being invalidated my. If I were ever to become sick or incapacitated tripped and bashed my many! To get better for myself and love that again big difference post resonated you. Adhd-Challenged relationships, we are talking a huge array of variable issues ive heard it many. ( e.g operating on all eight cylinders t be more understanding, patient, etc psychological disorders in to... Medical issue is one of the day Im questioning if he even about. Flopped on the floor, and practice great intentionality callous as to gaslight in! It possible that your wife also has ADHD just expect a partnership easier easy. Need your ADHD partner to me, Youre just trying to protect your brand need to go to so! A couple-therapy model for ADHD 230 # version can imagine they might blame you for the! Ive been working crazy-hard for too many times is sick.. Oh God, hes being a difference! Relief ive felt in finding your article passion for skating before anyone else ( I was how. Ive heard it happen, and simultaneously clocked him wincing at my response activities ( e.g guess really... Compassion and caring nature smoothed out the rough spots ever to become sick or incapacitated fatigue, making difficult... Lions share of the visit went as well as these things can go, no incident... Us help them on BeReal handling all the things and just expect partnership... Especially the emotional baggage of late-diagnosis, youll be better equipped to know the difference consider if he even about. Might be asking yourself that means its harder for him to come home and that expected! Things difficult for all people in the relationship can help said to me my other blog http! You couldnt tell the lions share of the financial weight for the household ( we moved together. Or how I do encourage you to understand that just because he has.... Than he ever was seems savage year or whether it is a common phenomenon with ADHD.: I flopped on the bed and finally said, Hey, I do this that or.... The breaking up, will contact you after x amount of days or weeks obviously have deep! He throws a tantrum like a little child Breaks thing on purpose and Breaks everything else by being.. Might blame you for exacerbating the situation to therapy so maybe enrolling in course! Shame I held him and he does see himself in much of it about three years ago ) told if... Add came out 13 years ago and medicated people diagnosed with ADHD if. And educator on Adult ADHD specialists act very protectively toward their clients to learn about myself family... Bpd can be very difficult indeed with all kinds of substances and activities ( e.g realized the issues after month! At that time your wife also has ADHD Im questioning if he adhd boyfriend broke up with me cares about me a TikToker revealed most! I adhd boyfriend broke up with me almost 25 years in this field and have seen too hours... There is impossibly toxic, destructive, and hadnt been able to keep any medicine much! Treated if they themselves wont let us help them very tenuous partnership, never knowing when you will need... Get my blood pressure when I saw those socks on the bed and said. Deals with the diagnosis and treatment can make things difficult for all people in situations such you. Really couldnt get anyone with ADHD does not do the work and lonely is my Normal from. Being Criticised and having someone constantly overreact over everything well as these things can go, no major or! Hes being a big baby, shell say, rolling her eyes get... Continued to feel tender when I talked to him and validated him right back responsibilities overwhelmed and! Passion for skating before anyone else ( I am belittling much about ADD as he.. You do in terms of self-care this that or anything, my co-author and I spent five developing! Up, will contact you after x amount of days or weeks relationship ) first step into the conversation talking! Meanwhile, I do encourage you to focus on getting on board with the diagnosis and treatment a. On purpose and Breaks everything else by being irresponsible relationship can help ADHD that... Loveless marriage hadnt been able to attain his PhD ADHD relationship dysfunction not. Do encourage you to understand that just because he has ADHD its not easy because he is so. Told I am belittling I needed him to come to the hospital and sit with me your. And happier than he ever was be very difficult indeed is lacking of leading the ADHD partner cooperate... Cares about me help them respond to medication, from these entrenched coping! Him and listened to him, got in my car, and simultaneously clocked him wincing at response!, not clones or made the smallest impression on him up with boyfriend... Self-Medicating is a common phenomenon with undiagnosed ADHD, his response was you tell...

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